Quack attack!

What the quack?! Quack makes us act quirky! Quack quack! 

A picture of the pile of quack that we have pulled out so far

As mentioned in the introduction, removing quackgrass is a practice of patience. It is like meditation. The Garden Master Andrew and I have been trying to get rid of the evil weed by hand for about a month to create nice beds to grow vegetables in. The garden is supposed to make the Hotel of La Donaira and the volunteers food intake self-sustainable. If the garden becomes a success, which we believe it will, because Andrew is great and has a lot of experience, it will become part of the CSA (Community supported agriculture) program. To survive the fight against the quack we have had many philosophical conversations and made a lot of jokes.  Here is a story about the quack:

Quack has a well-functioning brain and memory! It is a very smart and strong grass that has probably existed way longer than the human species. It probably survived ever since the very beginning of this planet, both surviving the meteor rain and the extinction of dinosaurs. That is how stubborn and steady quack is. Quack will live longer than the human race, because quack says "fuck global warming!" It survives heavy rains and heavy draughts. The strong roots lives under ground and reproduces when cracked into pieces. Actually cracking the quack is the worst thing you can do if you are trying to get rid of it, because every single piece will regrow and BOOM your problem just expanded into an almost unmanageable problem! This is an antique skill the quack has evolved throughout its time on earth! It will do anything to survive. It can move and it can make alliances with other plants, like the wild fennel, and even with stones! You shouldn’t talk too loud about your plans of removing the quack, because it will hear you and it will try to do anything to survive! Even when you grab it, it will try to escape!

Luckily my master, Andrew, is teaching me exactly how to cope with the quack and soon I will be a certified quack manager/ quack technician. Quacknician. You cannot have a farm unless you are quack certified. If you want to avoid quack, don’t become a farmer. If you want to learn about patience, become a farmer and learn from fighting the quack. There is a huge satisfaction and release of endorphins when finishing a bed filled with quack and that feeling can be antidepressant. SO fighting quack can be a method to help depressed people get rid of their depression, but it can also make it worse if you don’t have the strength to finish it, then it will have the opposite effect. The quack is dangerous and can make you almost go insane, that is why Andrew and I sometimes act a bit weird. The quack made us act quirky.

We have been talking about different quack-businesses. We talked about selling quack as jewelry, like necklaces and bracelets. We could also make a great business out of putting quack into farmers’ fields and then go to their door like: “Hey, do you have problems with quack? We have the solution!”. Damn we would get dirty rich with our skills! Actually we should teach monks to zone in on the quack and tell the quack to leave!  The meanest thing ever would be to put quack into other peoples’ gardens!

You might be thinking “is quack really not good for anything?” and yes, after all I must admit that quack is good for something. It helps giving structure to the soil and attracts microorganism that are good for the soil. It prevents soil erosion, which is pretty good in an area that has heavy rains. We would might not have had that good soil if it wasn’t for the quack. The quack is also really good feed for animals. Imagine how great your animals must be after eating such a genius plant! We should throw the quack on the mountains to help prevent erosion and for feed to the animals. 

Here is a picture of how evil the quack is. 

It pierced through another plant! 

Nothing can get in the way of quack!