What the quack?! Quack makes us act quirky! Quack quack!
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| A picture of the pile of quack that we have pulled out so far |
As mentioned in the introduction, removing quackgrass is a practice of patience. It is like meditation. The Garden
Master Andrew and I have been trying to get rid of the evil weed by hand for about a month
to create nice beds to grow vegetables in. The garden is supposed to make the Hotel of La Donaira and the volunteers food intake self-sustainable. If the
garden becomes a success, which we believe it will, because Andrew is great and has a lot
of experience, it will become part of the CSA (Community supported agriculture)
program. To survive the fight against the quack we have had many philosophical conversations
and made a lot of jokes. Here is a story
about the quack:
Quack has a well-functioning brain
and memory! It is a very smart and strong grass that has probably existed way
longer than the human species. It probably survived ever since the very beginning
of this planet, both surviving the meteor rain and the extinction of dinosaurs.
That is how stubborn and steady quack is. Quack will live longer than the human
race, because quack says "fuck global warming!" It survives heavy rains and heavy
draughts. The strong roots lives under ground and reproduces when cracked into
pieces. Actually cracking the quack is the worst thing you can do if you are trying
to get rid of it, because every single piece will regrow and BOOM your problem
just expanded into an almost unmanageable problem! This is an antique skill the
quack has evolved throughout its time on earth! It will do anything to survive.
It can move and it can make alliances with other plants, like the wild fennel,
and even with stones! You shouldn’t talk too loud about your plans of removing
the quack, because it will hear you and it will try to do anything to survive!
Even when you grab it, it will try to escape!
Luckily my master, Andrew, is
teaching me exactly how to cope with the quack and soon I will be a certified
quack manager/ quack technician. Quacknician. You cannot have a farm unless you are quack certified. If you
want to avoid quack, don’t become a farmer. If you want to learn about
patience, become a farmer and learn from fighting the quack. There is a huge
satisfaction and release of endorphins when finishing a bed filled with quack and
that feeling can be antidepressant. SO fighting quack can be a method to help
depressed people get rid of their depression, but it can also make it worse if
you don’t have the strength to finish it, then it will have the opposite
effect. The quack is dangerous and can make you almost go insane, that is why
Andrew and I sometimes act a bit weird. The quack made us act quirky.
We have been talking about different
quack-businesses. We talked about selling quack as jewelry, like necklaces and
bracelets. We could also make a great business out of putting quack into
farmers’ fields and then go to their door like: “Hey, do you have problems with
quack? We have the solution!”. Damn we would get dirty rich with our skills! Actually
we should teach monks to zone in on the quack and tell the quack to leave! The meanest thing ever would be to put quack
into other peoples’ gardens!
You might be thinking “is quack
really not good for anything?” and yes, after all I must admit that quack is
good for something. It helps giving structure to the soil and attracts microorganism
that are good for the soil. It prevents soil erosion, which is pretty good in
an area that has heavy rains. We would might not have had that good soil if it wasn’t
for the quack. The quack is also really good feed for animals. Imagine how great
your animals must be after eating such a genius plant! We should throw the
quack on the mountains to help prevent erosion and for feed to the
animals.
Here is a picture of how evil the quack is.
It pierced through another plant!
Nothing can get in the way of quack!
